Ok!! Yes I am a romantic!! I gave my all in the relationship!! Love can be blinding.
It’s like being blindfolded, walking through life and not being able to actually see what’s happening. You meet someone. They’re cool, super funny, really hot. And before you know it, you’ve pulled your heart out of your chest and handed it over. This, ladies and gents, is love.
Love definitely is an emotional roller coaster. It is absolutely insane how one person can be nothing to you one moment, and then become your everything, and then become nothing again but still slightly something…if that makes any sense at all. I still think of my ex-boyfriend, I’ll admit it. However, I am in the process of healing from the shattered pieces of my once fluttering heart. But you know what? I’m still grateful for everything we had. I have loved, and I have learned.
HERE ARE FEW THINGS I LEARNT FROM MY LAST RELATIONSHIP:
1. When a person constantly points out all your faults and insecurities and blames you for his moods and everything that goes wrong in the relationship because they doing nothing wrong but you can’t even text “good morning or birthday message” right then it’s not you, it’s them.
2. I am a person who can actually be found attractive by someone else. Who knew?
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4. It turns out that maybe I am not destined to be forever alone; I just need some time and hope.
5. Relationships really are give-and-take; there’s no doubt about it.
6. Jealousy is inevitable, no matter how confident and trusting I may be. (There’s always going to be that one person who can make me question things. I’m sorry, but it’s true.)
7. You are your number one priority, no matter what anyone else says. Even if your partner is just as giving and loving as you are, you always need to take care of yourself. If you’re not the one doing it, no one else will. Sometimes, people are really good at taking, and if you let them take all you’ve got, you won’t have anything left. No matter how much I may love a guy, I should never give up my priorities and values. (I learned this the hard way.)
8. My last relationship taught me that I am enough. I don’t have to prove myself to a man or change myself for him. If he doesn’t see my awesomeness, his loss, my gain, thank God, move on!!
9. Trust the instincts God gave me. If something is fishy about that person…it’s fishy.
10. Value yourself. If he consistently makes you miserable, God could never have sent him to you. He was never the one. No matter how many signs you think you have or how many confirmations they claim to have or how many men of God see y’all together If he doesn’t treat you like his own flesh, He’s not God’s promise to you…run and stop the cycle of deceit.
11. Things that start fast really can end just as quickly, and it sucks. But it is important to move on, no matter how hard it may be to let go. (Oh, but keep in mind that you can move on without letting go, but you can’t let go without moving on. However, in both cases, you still move on! Just something for you to mull over.)
12. Have discussions, not fights. It’s normal for couples to fight, but as adults, it is important to engage in discussions where you can listen to one another and have a productive dialogue. Yelling and throwing things from across the room is not productive. When you take the time to talk things out, you have the opportunity to really hear what your partner is saying. And on the flip side, this allows you to share your feelings and thought process. But remember to be kind and respectful. Once something hurtful is said, you can never take it back.
13. Expect the unexpected and never let someone walk over you. No matter how bad you want the relationship to work. Let them go if they want to leave!
14. Don’t allow a person make you feel like all you do is make mistakes.
15. Family and friends matter. These are most likely people you’ll be spending a lot of time with while you’re dating someone, and they can tell you a good deal about the character of whomever you’re dating. Future or no future, if you don’t like your partner’s family, GET OUT OF THERE IMMEDIATELY. Seriously, IMMEDIATELY. In the same vein, you are who you hang out with — that’s a very true statement. If you can’t tolerate hanging with your partner’s friends, this is also a legitimate issue.
16. You deserve to be treated well. You are an amazing, kind, loving person. Don’t ever let your partner put you down or harm you. A partner is supposed to make you want to be a better person, rather than make you feel like the scum of the earth. It’s not OK. Do not accept this type of behavior.
17. Honesty and communication are essential. If you don’t feel you can have an open conversation with your partner, you may want to reconsider being together. Can you work on communication? YES, but both parties have to be willing to do it. Talking things through and considering each other’s feelings provides you with the ability to work together. Once you learn to become a team, rather than work against one another, you can conquer it all. If you and your partner have the ability to actually listen to one another, you can make it through anything.
Don’t forget that life is not a fairy tale. You must be with someone who has goals and know where he is going. Otherwise the two of you will fall down and will not have something to show forth. When you love honestly there’s nothing to regret. You can thank them for their time, the wonderful memories, and the lessons learned. Then gracefully move on with a clear conscience.
Love happened to me unexpectedly, and here’s to hoping that it’ll happen again! I’m ready for it this time. Well, as ready as I’ll ever be.