Anxiety is real and I am a victim. Lately, I find myself googling the craziest and funniest things on the internet such as ‘how to stop freaking out over everything’, ‘how to calm down when you’re freaking out’, ‘7 Signs You’re Having An Anxiety Attack Versus A Momentary’, and others.
One minute I’m smiling, the next minute I’m crying. It’s been taking a lot from me to stay positive. A lottttt.
Stop rolling your eyes at me, pleaseeee!! The coronavirus pandemic is enough reason for one to freak out, losing my mum is a justified reason to panic, 2020 as a whole is the icing on the cake but then all these are not what has got my mind occupied. I am worried about turning 30 😜😜🙈 *covers face*.
The mention of figure 30 keeps sending chills down my spine. It’s like I have so much to do with little time to accomplish them all. I read books centred around things to do before turning 30 and I feel like I haven’t even scratched the surface. I remember when I graduated from the University at age 21, I was so confident that before I turned 27 I would be married with my two beautiful kids but ‘Man proposes, but God disposes’ – Proverbs 19:21.
Thinking about it now, I recall having a book I called, “Book of Plans” – I listed everything I would own and do before age 30 such as owning a car, having my own apartment or house, married, kids, fat account, established businesses and writing career, etc, but well 😞 just as Nigerians will say ‘the struggle is real’.
I am convinced that many Nigerians my age are also worried about the same things. Questioning ourselves, questioning our little achievements, questioning our tries, comparing ourselves, angry at life, fear of death, crying, throwing temper tantrums, shutting down, mood swings, depressed, among the many other feelings. I see the negative results of panic every day. People get upset, they’re afraid of emotional consequences and they overreact, which can actually create the consequences they fear.
I am writing this post to tell you this.
Freaking out is normal. Crying is okay. Screaming is fine. This can be okay once in a while, but as this pattern repeats, it becomes rescuing and codependency. Panic creates drama, unnecessary and damaging exaggeration of the problem, which leads to dysfunctional responses and overblown family drama. Controlling all these emotions is much more important.
So, what do you do in a scary or upsetting situation? Teach yourself how not to panic, so you can think clearly and handle the problem effectively.
Have you tried praying over a situation that deprives you of sleep, I mean literally going down on your knees and asking God to lead the way. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths,” – Proverbs 3:5-6. I have learnt to trust God in everything that concerns me because I am absolutely sure that my God will supply every need of mine according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus – Phil 4:19.
Aside from praying, I listen to music. Oh dear friends, don’t underestimate the power of music. Music is therapeutic. Music heals. Right now, as I am writing I am listening to a Nigerian mixtape. Indescribable feeling!💃💃 Yes, I strongly believe that if music can successfully get my mind off things that I can’t control it will help you also. So dear friends, increase that volume and dance away your sorrow.
Also, surround yourself with positive thinking people. Your circle doesn’t have to consist of a million people who probably don’t know anything about you, look for those few persons that will motivate and cheer you on in trying times. People you can trust with your innermost fears and thoughts.
Whilst doing all these and more, remember to take a deep breath and trust the process. Just like Alexx Ekubo will always say, ‘Forward is Forward’. Celebrate your little wins. Did you sell one item today, celebrate it! Did you write a paragraph today, rejoice! Are you single, enjoy it! Are you broke, cheer on! Still living with your parents, hell yeah give them a hug every day! Your being alive is enough reason to be happy.
I wish you peace, within yourself, within your family, within the world. Dear 30, I am excitedly waiting to experience you and everything therein.
What do you do to conquer your fears, please share with me via the comment section below.
In your heart, In your head, With my words.